We are on day three of school, and I’m trying really hard to not be one of Those Moms. You know the ones… the one who, as my friend Plummy likes to say, are convinced of their child’s “speshul sheshulness”. These are the moms who think Junior needs life handed to him one tiny gold-plated (supervised) bite at a time.
Psychologists agree (Psychologists as a group, not as specific individuals. All the specific individual psychologists I know are each lovely and talented people) it is a question of boundaries. There is a fine line between advocation and plain over-bearing parenting. We’ve all heard the term helicopter parent, and we all say ohthatwouldneverbeme.
But sometimes it is.
And when you have a kid who’s a little different that line gets even blurrier.
You know what comes next. I am worried about Jett getting what he needs from the new school year. I’m worried about whether he is able to participate fully in his day. And I worry about his emotional needs being met. I have no reason yet to worry – except that I do. I see the hot spots, and right now they are ok. The newness of the year is glossing things over for him still. We are honeymooning so to speak with 2nd grade. But I know PE is still an issue. And the playground is already a problem.
And some of it, maybe most of it, is simply going to be something he has to work out for himself. Those Psychologists (again) tell me he is an individual and not an extension of me. His personality is his own. He has to be allowed to figure things out for himself, as he is able.
As he is able.
That’s where I get stuck. Trying to figure out where his able-ness lies. Where his 7 year-old development meets his Asperger’s. Where he needs to figure it out by himself, and when he needs a little extra.
I heard a story recently about a parent who visited a teacher. This parent was crying about her child’s grade and begging the teacher to change it. The problem? The teacher was a professor – of a GRADUATE STUDENT. It’s a slippery slope, my friends. One I don’t want to slide down. But I also don’t want Jett overlooked, or not get the services he needs, because I’m afraid of being too overprotective.
All this before the second cup of coffee. No wonder my head is spinning.