Let’s just punch ’em in the mouth

It’s been a crummy week here in Average Mom land. Ever had one of those? Where everything you do is the opposite of King Midas?

Not only does the house look terrible with laundry and toys littering every possible surface, but I can’t seem to get into a good routine dinner-wise. Even if I have something planned I can’t drum up the energy to make it happen. I’ve got a bag of black beans sitting in the pantry just waiting for me to soak, then cook them. Easy, yes? Apparently not easy enough.

On top of the regular ole housewifey un-organization, Jett is a disregulated mess. And frankly, so am I.

It’s gotten to the point where his therapist recommended a family session today, and it was recommended that J and I read The Explosive Child by Ross Greene. Awesome. A book about Oppositional Defiance Disorder, one of the hardest disorders to parent. She was reassuring that she thinks Jett’s defiance comes from his Asperger’s, and not another diagnosis to add to the mix. But still, the behaviors are rough to manage and I feel like I’m losing my mind these days.

The therapist also warned me that the type of parenting J and I need to give will take all our time, effort and energy. Yet somehow there will still need to be resources left over for Carlos and Letty, not to mention all the income earning and housekeeping duties.

I suppose it will be worth it in the end (wait, is there an ‘end’ to parenting?) I was thinking after we left therapy this morning I need to define our goals, at least in my mind. What do we hope to achieve with all this? What do we expect from Jett in the future?

I, for one, would like him to not punch his brother in the mouth at Costco. That seems like a reasonable goal. Right?


About morelikeaveragemom

I'm a stay home mom with 3 kids. I am simply figuring it out as I go.
This entry was posted in Autism / Asperger Syndrome and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to Let’s just punch ’em in the mouth

  1. akbutler says:

    The cognitive behavior therapy that Dr. Greene promotes has been recommended for us too when our son is a bit older (like Jett’s age). Everyone I’ve talked to who uses that method says it works. Like, really works.
    I get the whole time-splitting thing too with the three kids. I have no idea how to do it. There are days when I think I’ve got it down. Then at the end of the night, I realize that someone was missing their time. We’ve been trying to do some one-on-one things with each kid when we can, just to make up for that guilt. 🙂
    You are juggling lots of things right now and you’re a really awesome mom. It will all come together, even if it doesn’t feel like it in the moment.

    • I read the book when Jett was Howie’s age and it seemed daunting at the time. Also, I think I still hoped at that point that Jett would just “grow out” of his behaviors. Sigh. Now I just need to track down a copy. Thank goodness for Amazon Prime!

  2. Dearna says:

    We all end up in that space sometimes, where its all too much. When the basics of cooking and cleaning can be too damn hard to manage let alone the really hard stuff like parenting. And then you add special needs into the mix. Take a big breath and keep putting one foot in front of the other. xx

  3. Soaking beans is an unnecessary step. I think even Cooks Illustrated says so, but my laziness found it first. 🙂

    I’ve got some oppositional defiant tendencies myself. Hang in there.

    Oh, and our house hasn’t been clean since we moved in, and probably won’t be until we have a party. We hire a babysitter so M can get enough peace to make any progress on the toys and food on the floor.

  4. Lauren says:

    I was going to call you today, but see you’re busy. Hope this weekend is just what you need to refresh your spirit! I’m so sorry you’re in this low patch. You’re a GREAT Mom and you’re all going to make it and be better for it! I love you! Praying for you!

  5. Oh Julie…we certainly do walk parallel roads!

    I am keeping my Harry home from school today because I realised that i just haven’t divided my time properly between my kids and he seems to be the one that’s missed out lately.

    keep going warrior Mom….we are all behind you x

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