Homeschool fail

Big meeting tomorrow. J and I are meeting with the public school in our neighborhood to discuss enrolling Jett.

I feel like such a failure.

What I had hoped to do for a year, I didn’t even manage for an entire semester.

To say homeschool has been unsuccessful with him is so true. But still only half the story. We have achieved some of our goals. We are functioning more smoothly as a family. We have spent all our waking hours together for the last six months, and while that hasn’t been without it’s bumps, split lips, and skinned knees, our trip to Disney wouldn’t have been so smooth if we weren’t used to spending all our time together.

All that time together, though, has it’s downside. I’ve talked in this blog before about our boys being a unit, for better or for worse. I would like them to make some friends outside our circle of five.

Homeschooling a child on the Autism Spectrum turned out to be more than I could handle. Jett repeatedly requested routine and structure. And while I can have a rhythm to our day, I just don’t have the kind of life (or personality) that allows us to work on math from 8:15-8:45, spelling from 8:45-9:30, etc. I have to go to the grocery store, and Letty has preschool. Those errands alone were enough to throw him for a loop.

The social pressures were hard too. Often whenever we went somewhere during the day, he was the oldest kid by several years. And he doesn’t play well with kids his own age, a playground full of preschoolers is not a breeding ground for positive social development!

Mostly, though, he and I couldn’t make it work together. He would refuse to do some part of his work most days, and we ended up fighting about everything.

I’m hoping the meeting goes well tomorrow. I still don’t think public school is the whole answer, but I’m trying to shed MY wants and focus on Jett’s needs. I may think project based learning and thinking outside the box sounds fantastic, but Jett’s black and white, literal brain needs something different.

And, frankly, I’m tired of thinking about it. I just want to find a school he can attend with a teacher who can be his teacher, and not his mom, too.

He and I have both learned that’s an important boundary to honor.


About morelikeaveragemom

I'm a stay home mom with 3 kids. I am simply figuring it out as I go.
This entry was posted in Autism / Asperger Syndrome, Homeschooling and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

9 Responses to Homeschool fail

  1. Lauren says:

    I love your honesty, your willingness to try and stretch beyond your comfort zone. You’re an amazing Mom, and humble enough to try something else. I’m proud of your attempt to home school AND your meeting with the school tomorrow!!!

  2. Akbutler says:

    So…I’m sorry. I know how much you wanted this to work. But you did not fail. Failing would have been not trying it, and always wondering if it could have been. And this was putting Jett first. You tried. That’s more than most of us do. And you have a whole new frame of reference for advocating for him now. You’re no longer looking at him thru “mom lenses” but teacher eyes as well. You know every angle. That. Is. Huge.
    Good luck tomorrow. You got this for him. And you.

  3. Dearna says:

    Its not failure to admit when something is not working. It takes strength.Good luck with the school.

  4. Elizabeth says:

    It wasn’t a fail!! It just didn’t last as long as you anticipated.

  5. Christy says:

    Take heart Jules. We’d never have believed it back in the day, but this parenting thing is going to turn out to be our greatest challenge! Your kids ars lucky to have someone as perceptive and caring as you forging a path through life’s messes with, rather than for, them.

  6. kristin ebersold says:

    You’re amazing to have tried. Your kids are so lucky to have you as their Mama!!

  7. Amy Nordhausen says:

    J, he is so lucky to have such a passionate and brave mom – I am in awe of your strength and faith throughout this journey. I just saw a quote the other day I wanted to pass on to you, not sure who to credit it with though “While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about.”

  8. Oh Julie, here’s me sitting here thinking that you have stopped blogging when in reality….for some reason my subscription hasn’t been sending me updates!

    I think you are amazing for even trying home schooling and your reasons for taking it on were admirable…It’s a tough call and I for one think you are incredible for recognising what you and your boys need xx

    • I did stop blogging for a bit, I was too overwhelmed and slightly depressed to think of anything to say. But I’M BAAAAAAACCCKKKKK! Still overwhelmed, but the words come a bit more frequently again. Glad we are back in touch!

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